he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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