YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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