we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize