Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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