I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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