I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
