Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
