I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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