Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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