Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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