last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize