You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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