kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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