Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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