Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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