it hurts more in the daytime
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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