do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
