All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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