when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize