party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
