i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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