PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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