i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize