I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
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She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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