I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
