I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did I show you my penis last night?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
