absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
