so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
