YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
