it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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