Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
