Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
