Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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