Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
