I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize