he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so much tequila, so little girl.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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