dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You made out with two different species that night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
