Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
