i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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