when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
