Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
