Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's never too late to be topless.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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