I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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