I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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