the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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