Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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