Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
