he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
