I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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