Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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