Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
