I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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