Ketchup is God's man juice
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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