it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
