Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
