on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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