The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
