Don't make out with my wife yet
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize