kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
